Shop therapy

After many sessions and with the full approval of my therapist I have decided that I must make a confession. Fully realizing that by doing this I may shame and humiliate my family, I can no longer carry the burden of living a lie.
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me Mom, but it must now be said, I HATE SHOPPING. I not only hate shopping I loathe shopping. I am void of the shopping gene that is so very dominant among the women of my family. I have never viewed shopping as a recreation as my mother does and I cannot find any joy or fulfillment in the pursuit of a "sale". I consider the word "sale" to be a vulgar four letter word that should be defined as "something no one wanted when it was full price so why would I desire it now ?"

I do not discriminate in my abhorrence of shopping, because I detest shopping for any item from groceries to socks. The shopping gene lays dormant or is completely absent in me. The concrete evidence of my missing shopping gene was revealed while I was touring France and I had to be coerced and shamed into shopping for gifts for my family and friends. It was then I knew that I could no longer deny that I was suffering from some sort of shopping dysfunction. France, the Mecca of women shoppers everywhere and I had to be shamed into going to the shops. I knew then that there was something not quite right about me and if the truth were revealed I would be shunned by the women of my family and maybe even by women everywhere.

Many of the females with whom I am acquainted view me as some sort of aberration. I am unable to muster any modicum of enthusiasm for flea markets, antique shops or discount stores. I have even feigned illness to be relieved of the chore of back to school shopping for the children. Christmas shopping is a nightmare that sets back any progress of my Shock-shop therapy sessions by at least 6 months.

There I have said it ! I must admit I do feel that a great weight has been lifted. I have come out of the closet and if my friends and family can find it in themselves to love me for the non shopper that I am, then I can hold my head high and with dignity. I will once again be free to answer the telephone without the gut wrenching fear that someone will ask me to go shopping and I will have to lie to them and say that I am recovering from major surgery or a highly contagious illness.

Now if only my friends and family can accept this fact about me and understand that I am minus the genetic shopping signature, then I can live my life to the fullest as a non-shopping contented woman who gives cash in homemade cards for gifts.