Global Hot Flashes

Global Hot Flashes

I’ve been researching this global warming phenomenon of late and one of the things I have noticed is that most of the research is done by the males of our species. I watched Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth; I’ve read items on the web, the skeptic’s side as well as the believers of the issue and I’ve reached my own conclusion. Mother Earth is in the throes of menopause and believe me I can relate, as can any woman between the ages of 35 and 60.

Let’s have a look at a couple of recent occurrences:

A giant ice shelf has snapped free from an island south of the North Pole, scientists said, citing climate change as a "major" reason for the event. The Ayles Ice Shelf - 66 square kilometers (41 square miles) of it - broke clear 16 months ago from the coast of Ellesmere Island, about 800 kilometers (500 miles) south of the North Pole in the Canadian Arctic.

(I had a mood swing the other night and sailed two dinner plates across the kitchen breaking both. It may not have registered on the Richter scale but it sure got the attention of those inside the house!)

Global Warming or changes in temperature and precipitation patterns may also increase the frequency, duration, and intensity of other extreme weather events, such as:

1. Floods ( menopausal mood swings are taking the form of hurricanes .Mother Nature is crying mad and you can bet the farm that if you make me angry enough to cry then you are going to reap the same sort of devastation as a Category 4 hurricane!)
2. Droughts In August, researchers from the University of Nevada and Scripps Institution of Oceanography published a paper that concluded this drought was the seventh worst to hit the Upper Colorado River Basin in the past 500 years.
(So where do we find a tube of KY Jelly big enough for Momma Earth)?
3. Heat Waves (aka Hot Flashes-Is my inner child playing with matches again?)
4. Tornadoes (Piss her off and she takes the house!)
5. Glacial retreat ( Moves into the spare bedroom!)
6. Species extinctions (Men, someof us are armed and you know who you are!)

So it’s pretty obvious that the way to solve the problems of Mother Earth is to develop a really REALLY big estrogen patch.

*All kidding aside. I have noticed a real difference in the climate here in Kentucky. I remember significant snowfalls, and now we rarely see a flake. Today is January 3 and it is 57°F-13.3° C.
If you haven’t seen An Inconvenient Truth you should. Maybe we’ve pushed Mother Nature to the breaking point and her payback is going to be hell.

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