Auld Lang Syne (old long ago)
Five Things (about me)
1. I can recite all fifty states in alphabetical order in less than a minute (I do this when I have trouble falling asleep.
I’m working on the state capitals as well).
2. I’ve been within spitting distance of three ex presidents of the United States and numerous other political officials. (My FBI file is probably over 6 inches thick)
3. I had lunch with Loretta Lynn (she was at the next table but it still counts).
4. I’ve had white (not gray) hair since I was 22 (I should own stock in L’Oreal)
5. Today is not only New Years Eve it is also my birthday!
How’d you like the way I lured you into this latest diatribe? Did you just think to yourself, “Wow, presidents, celebrities and a new years eve birthday, that’s cool” because if you did you are so mistaken! There is nothing good about having a birthday on New Years Eve and I should know because I’ve been experiencing it for the last … (mumble mumble) years. Here are just a few reasons why:
Every Christmas gift has a postscript on the tag that says “this is for your birthday too”
As a child you never get to have a party because it interferes with the adult celebrations
As an adult you never go out because babysitters are as rare as the Hope Diamond And last but not least,
I’m another year older dammit!
I was recently informed about a group in France who has established a movement to eliminate any and all forthcoming New Years. Now there’s a train I could board if they would just make one teensy little change. Instead of not having a January 1st we should eliminate December 31st. How’s that for a clever idea? No ulterior motive here I just happen to think that the 31st has run its course, is terribly overrated and really needs to disappear! Or perhaps we could form a compromise? We could have a December 31st every leap year and coincidently I could also have a birthday every four years. See how well it would work out? And since it’s too late to do anything about it this year, I will spend the evening sitting here in my ‘jammies’ eating a pot pie, sipping a diet coke, drafting a petition for the demise of next year and attempting to make contact with the French New Year resistance. But to the rest of you who are decked out in your finery, sipping champagne, eating delicious foods while counting down the minutes and doing whatever else it is that you do on my birthday, I have only 3 words for you...
©Diana Meade
December 31, 2006